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Poem: I Want To Believe

by Jonathan Kraft
written 12. April, 2009

I want
so much
To continue
To be able to
Give people
The benefit of the doubt.

I want
to believe
That at heart
People are
Truly good
That they want to do what’s right.

History has so many examples
and stories
to show that’s true.

Are those stories just fables?
Tales made up for dreamers like me?

I’m surrounded by amazing people.

But people, in general, don’t do what they say they will do.

People, in general, will lie to make the “facts”
more accommodating to what they want.

People, in general, aren’t willing to be
something different,
so they can do
something more,
so they can have
something greater.

No, people are (pretty much)
where they are,
will do what they’ve been doing,
and will lull or fool themselves into acceptance of mediocrity…
(with rare exception).

So where does that leave me?
A dreamer? A hopeful? Someone who
does what he says he will do,
or fixes it with apology and action?

What am I to do with my (apparently)
misplaced trust?

What am I to do
with my belief in the good of people?

My mind says
my belief and trust
have about the value
of snail slime
on a sidewalk
evaporating rapidly.

But my heart says I must maintain the belief.

I don’t want to be cynical.
I don’t want to mistrust.

I want to value the best in others
by expecting they will do
what they say they will.

But that’s not true.

I’m losing my hope and innocence.
And that’s sad.

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