Living in America is about doing battle.
That’s the flow of America.
To resist this fact here is like resisting the flow of India.
That’s why being in America often feels like there’s no time.
I must battle against time and “fight the clock”.
It’s the American way.
That’s why working to accomplish anything here has felt like walking through sludge while covered in molasses.
I must “fight the good fight” and “conquer all obstacles”.
It’s part of a common meme shared America-wide.
If you don’t fight a fight, battle an enemy, or conquer a significant obstacle by knocking through it, then (in America), the end result is less valuable.
I have been resisting the predominant theme and flow of this country, because it feels completely contrary to who I actually am.
Everything takes work. Why complain about it?
Because it’s part of the meme. It’s part of the process – to tell your battle stories.
Everyone is low on sleep because they’re working to accomplish something. Why complain about it?
Because it’s part of the story of the struggle that it takes to get there… wherever “there” is.
The story of conquering obstacles and doing war against the things that “hold you down” and “hold you back” is one everyone wants to take part in.
We get lots of psychic gratification from people’s recognition of our struggle.
Among everything we learned during two years of travel, there were three most important lessons we learned
- Adapt.
- Adapt.
- Adapt.
If it had been any other country, we would have adapted or left.
But this is our place where our family is in the world.
As such, I want to change the flow to protect them and myself.
I want to change the flow so that I will like it better here.
But fighting to change the flow of a society is pointless at the level I currently operate at. Changing that flow would take 20-30 years. It’s just what it is.
Aside from all of that (and getting back on point), America will always be home for us, no matter how much time we spend here.
Facts:
- We are going to spend some portion of our lives in America.
- The current predominant flow (predominant consciousness) in America is battle and war.
- It’s not at all who I am at my core. It never has been.
- However, I can be who I need to be to get what I want to get done in this country.
- While doing this, I can maintain who I actually am. I need to figure out how.
- Adapting to this meme requires me to wear a mask in my daily life – a shield and a suit of armor.
I just must remember that the predominant theme and flow of this place, at this time in history and for the foreseeable future, is battle and war.
This is something I have been choosing to be sad about.
But it’s not something to be sad about, any more than I can be sad that the caste system still exists in places in India.
There is very little that I can do to change it.
That is fact.
Once I get past being sad about it, and once I figure out my armor, I think this recognition is going to help me a lot.