In our travels and in our understanding of the world, I have come to the realization that I am alone in my understanding of the world.
I think I’ve tried to apply that, to saying that I am alone in the world, in general.
The closest I could ever hope to being truly connected, and not being alone, would be with a best friend… someone that would see the world (for whatever reason) in the same way that I do.
And I see that with Carrie.
I see with Carrie that we have the same or at least a similar understanding.
We work to gain a greater perspective and grow our understanding. We seek to change and grow and become.
But there are so many people who don’t change.
They won’t do the work, even if it’s easy, to grow their understanding of how the world works.
They won’t take the steps to make things better.
They say they want something different, but unknowns are scary, and so they choose for things to just stay the same.
They want to keep things as they are – status quo.
———–
We have definitely grown our understanding of the world. That changes us, and that separates us from other people.
My understanding of how the world works – the more I grow it, the more it separates me from other people – in my understanding.
That’s just the way it is.
(No one can really work to grow their understanding of the world in the same way that I do, unless they go through all the same experiences that I do.)
It is highly unlikely that you’re going to have a truly common understanding with people in the world other than your spouse or a really really good friend. And even then it’s very difficult to achieve, maintain, and grow.
So you’re alone in your understanding of the world, and that’s a fact.
There’s nothing to be done about that… it’s a thing to accept.
The biggest mistake though is to apply that to say
- No one understands me at all,
- No one gives a rip about me or what I know.
- No one gives a …
I think a lot of people end up in that place, but those statements just aren’t true.
You may be alone in your understanding of how the world works, how people work, and people communicate.
But you can connect (and be connected to), if you’re open to that connection coming to you through emotion.
Connecting with people on a logical level (same understanding of the world) is really difficult.
But people can care for you deeply, even if they have a much different understanding of the world than you.
Someone can care about you, can care about what you know, can care about what you’re going through, and can care about all of this, without actually knowing the “what” of your situation for themselves.
I say that knowing that I will follow up this post with a caveat (in another post), but I’m curious…
For you reading this post – Do you think that people can care about you – truly care – if they’re not willing to walk the walk (even mentally) that you’ve walked and are walking?
You two have a world of experiences & knowledge that could be valuable
in shaping the lives of so many. You two should get involved in working
with the many homes for children that have no parents & few of these
kids ever have anyone to talk to & are so very lonely. You could be an inspiration to them ALL. Get out there & help the kids to see the world
in a different light & maybe even save them from becoming deliquents as maybe they’d develop an interest in traveling with a back-pack & getting a month train pass to learn about the world–the best education of all!!
Then YOU WILL not feel alone & you’ll feel FULL INSIDE, filled with all the love you can get from those appreciative kids!!
Hey Renee! Do you have some of these homes near to you in Texas?
Just look in your yellow pages under Foster Care Agencies &
they can direct you. There are also many large children’s homes under the direction of various churches. The Methodist
homes are located all over the world & bet there are a few
in CO. I worked as a volunteer for a year in Lousiana at a
Special Needs Community Workshop that had buses that brought
the kids for the day. We taught them “living skills” in the
mornings including how to cook, save money, etc. & I taught classes & I was also in charge of their lunch meal which I included some of the kids in helping me prepare,& then for the ones that were capable, the bus would take them after lunch to work such as in grocery stores, etc. I have to admit I would
often drive home crying as my heart gave out to them, but it was also a very rewarding experience & I definitely felt loved. Please consider my suggestion, ok?
Sorry, I should have made it clear that I am not suggesting you deal with “Special Needs kids” & I doubt
they would be able to travel safely; what I meant for you are the kids that are in homes up for adoption, or
homes for “troubled teens”, see? They are the kind of
kids that could truly profit from all your experiences
& knowledge of the world to broaden their perspectives
on their own lives. Troubled teens are often the ones
that get so involved in their own lives & troubles that
they can not see beyond; can’t see there are other things they can do to change their outlook on life.
This is what you could contribute to help them be able to reach beyond themselves to find change & new learning adventures in their lives.
Your question is a tricky one. I would say “no”. If someone won’t at least mentally try to put themselves in your shoes, I woulnd’t say they could truly care. However…I think most people do care, to some level…because most people do put themselves in your shoes, to some level. The difference is that some people are more skilled than others at putting themselves (mentally) in other people’s shoes. I say “skilled”, because I think it is something anyone can get better at with practice. I talk to Laura’s younger siblings all the time about the golden rule:
“Do unto others as you would have them do to you.”
The only way you can truly do this is if you can put yourself in their place.
Some people are simply no good at seeing the world from someone else’s viewpoint because they don’t try to do it very often.
Even people who aren’t very good at it though often TRY to empathize. This is why people will sometimes/often turn a conversation around to be about them. You’ll be telling them a story and they’ll cut you off with “Oh yeah…that reminds me of that time when I…” They are trying to empathize…they just aren’t very good at it. What they should be doing is sympathizing (maybe).
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Empathy_vs_Sympathy
Anyway…kind of a rambling response…but there’s some thoughts for ya!
This was a very good response and well thought out. Really interesting to approach some people with the understanding that they’re just not very good at empathy.
Do you think that would be a good time to give them a business card with this on it: http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i55/5/6/24/frabz-oh-so-you-are-not-listening-you-probably-dont-know-the-communica-d30d8f.jpg